🤦🏽♀️ 5 Mistakes Insecure People Make—and How to Build Confidence in God
Updated: 1 day ago
Ever started second-guessing something you knew in your gut because someone else questioned it?
In my 20s, I walked away from music and modeling after church leaders made me feel those dreams were “too secular”... even “the devil’s territory.”
But I had been deep in prayer. I was sharing Jesus. Doors were flying open.
Still, their judgment made me question whether I could trust what I was hearing from God at all.
And once I stopped trusting what I knew, I stopped moving. I shut down.
I questioned my identity, my calling, and my connection with God.
Insecurity has a consequence: paralysis.
It doesn’t always shout “you’re not enough”—sometimes it whispers, “Did God really say…?”
So, if you’ve been second-guessing yourself lately...
Here are 5 traps I see insecure women fall into (and what to do instead):
🔥 1. Overthinking Everything
You replay convos. You doubt your instincts. You stall instead of moving forward. There comes a point when thinking in circles doesn’t create more clarity. 🌀 You need a fresh perspective to help you see what you can’t see from inside the problem.
Peter didn’t sink because he couldn’t walk on water, but because he got afraid and doubted (🤯!!). You sink when you overthink. But Jesus still reaches out and pulls you up anyway. 🙌🏼
That’s one of the sneakiest things about insecurity: it can make fear and overthinking feel like discernment.
God is the Wise Counselor, full of creative solutions and good plans for you.
Sometimes we need help sorting through all those competing voices so we can uncover what we actually want, name what we deeply need, see possibilities we haven’t considered, and recognize God’s voice in the middle of it all.
Try this instead: When your mind starts spiraling, pause, breathe, pray, and hand it to God. Then get outside your own head. Talk it through with someone wise who can help you see the situation from another angle. You may not need more time to think. You may need a perspective you don’t currently have. Then take the next simple step forward. Clarity often comes as you begin to move.
🔥 2. Chasing Validation
You crave a thumbs-up, a “you’re doing great,” or someone to say you're on the right track. That’s human. But if you live for their applause, you’ll crumble without it.
Galatians 1:10 asks: Are you trying to please people or God?
Validation from God is what roots and empowers you.
Try this instead: Get your daily “well done” from heaven. Let God’s voice of affirmation be what roots and empowers you. Ask God what He loves about you. Stand in front of a mirror and say, “I am chosen. I am loved. I am seen. I am secure in Jesus.” Say it until it sticks. You’ll show up differently in every room.
🔥 3. Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else
You see her wins, her followers, her clarity. You wonder, “Why not me?” But even when Moses talked himself into disqualifying himself, God still used him to lead a nation.
Comparison blinds you to the glory of God inside you.
You’re not meant to be them. You’re called to be fully YOU. (And spoiler alert: God’s version of you is the best thing going. 😉)
Try this instead: Ask God: “What do You love about how You made me?” Then write it down. There’s a beautiful lane just for you. Stay in it. Run hard. And enjoy the view.
🔥 4. Dwelling on the Past
Mistakes. Regret. Failure. They’ll chain you to the version of yourself Jesus already redeemed.
Psalm 103:12 says He tossed your sin as far as the east is from the west. It’s never God who's shaming you. He's leading you towards your transformed, true self!
Try this instead: Apologize and make it right when needed. Then let it go. You’re a new creation. Forgiveness, even of yourself, doesn’t say what happened was okay. It releases the weight of pain, shame, and regret so your past doesn’t get to keep writing your future. Grace leads you forward and frees you fully!
❤️🩹 For guidance in healing the deeper layers, see the Revival Life Signature Course.
🔥 5. Hiding Your Strengths
You were never meant to blend in. You were meant to light things up. ⚡️
Whether it’s leading, speaking, creating, or encouraging… God didn’t give you gifts to be shelved or talents to stay buried.
As Jesus said: YOU are the light of the world! So no more shrinking back.
Try this instead: Take 10 minutes and ask, “God, what strengths have You put in me that I’ve buried?” Write down whatever comes up.
👀 Take our Spiritual Gifts Quiz and review your robust results to dive deeper into how you’ve been wired to love and lead.
Here’s the truth:
👉🏼 Insecurity takes over when we anchor our security in the wrong things.
👉🏾 Your soul craves a solid resting place. A peace where your confidence can rise.
👉🏿 🎶 “On Christ the solid rock I stand… all other ground is sinking sand.” 🎶
👉🏽 You were made to be unshakable in His love and unstoppable in His will!
👉🏻 Those five mistakes insecure people make are avoidable, in Jesus name!
For me? I finally learned to recognize how God speaks to me and trust what I was hearing. That clarity gave me permission to move again.
And looking back, I can see how the enemy was using insecurity to shut down what I was born to do:
I was made to build platforms for women to stand taller
To spotlight what’s already inside them and help them see possibilities they couldn’t see on their own
To help them get clear on what they really want, where God is leading, and how to move forward
And to boldly take the mic and lift up Jesus so His truth can set women free
So if you’re tired of...
🙅🏽♀️ Overthinking → 🔥 Replace it with Spirit-led trust.
🙅🏽♀️ People-pleasing → 🔥 Let God anchor you in His delight.
🙅🏽♀️ Comparison → 🔥 Own your lane and run like it's revival.
🙅🏽♀️ Shame → 🔥 Let grace fuel you to walk in freedom.
🙅🏽♀️ Shrinking back → 🔥 Learn your gifts and let your light shine!
Because you don’t have to earn your worth. You just need to receive it from Jesus, Who already called you chosen.
Let’s kick insecurity to the curb and walk like the confident, called, courageous woman you actually are. 💥
You in?
To your empowered life,
Kandi
PS, If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself and ready to get clear on what you actually want and where you’re going next, Revival Life was built for this. 💛
We’ll help you connect the dots of what’s shaped you, get free from what’s keeping you stuck, uncover the strengths and desires God put in you, and intentionally build your next season with Him.
You’ve carried a lot. You don’t have to keep figuring out your future alone.
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