🤦🏽‍♀️ 5 Mistakes Insecure People Make—and How to Build Confidence in God

Ever found yourself doubting everything you love—just because of what someone else said?

In my 20s, I walked away from music and modeling after church leaders made me feel those dreams were “too secular”... even “the devil’s territory.”

But I had been deep in prayer. I was sharing Jesus. Doors were flying open.

Still, their judgment made me question if I even heard God's voice at all.

And that launched a spiral into self-doubt and confusion. I shut down.

I questioned my identity, my calling, and my connection with God.

Insecurity is sneaky like that.

It doesn’t always shout “you’re not enough”—sometimes it whispers, “Did God really say…?”

If you’ve been second-guessing yourself lately...

Here are 5 traps I see insecure women fall into (and what to do instead):

🔥 1. Overthinking Everything

You replay convos. You doubt your instincts. You stall instead of moving forward. But clarity doesn’t come through analyzing—it comes through trusting in motion. 

Peter didn’t sink because he couldn’t walk on water—but because he got afraid and doubted (🤯!!). You sink when you overthink. But Jesus still reaches out and pulls you up anyway. 🙌🏼 

God is the Wise Counselor with creative solutions you need. He knows how to quiet the chaos and free you from the mental chatter. 

Try this instead: When your mind starts spiraling: pause, breathe, smile, pray, and hand it to God. Say one thing you did well—or one thing you’re grateful for—out loud. Then take the next simple step forward.

🔥 2. Chasing Validation

You crave a thumbs-up, a “you’re doing great,” or someone to say you're on the right track. That’s human. But if you live for their applause—you’ll crumble without it.

Galatians 1:10 asks: Are you trying to please people or God?

Validation from God is what roots and empowers you.

Try this instead: Get your daily “well done” from heaven. Let God’s voice of affirmation be what roots and empowers you. Ask God what He loves about you. Stand in front of a mirror and say, “I am chosen. I am loved. I am seen. I am secure in Jesus.” Say it until it sticks. You’ll show up differently in every room.

🔥 3. Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else

You see her wins, her followers, her clarity. You wonder, “Why not me?” But Moses tried to disqualify himself too—and God still used him to lead a nation. 

Comparison blinds you to the glory of God inside you.

You’re not meant to be them. You’re called to be fully YOU. (And spoiler alert: God’s version of you is the best thing going. 😉)

Try this instead: Ask God: “What do You love about how You made me?” Then write it down. There’s a beautiful lane just for you. Stay in it. Run hard. And enjoy the view.

🔥 4. Dwelling on the Past

Mistakes. Regret. Failure. They’ll chain you to the version of yourself Jesus already redeemed.

Psalm 103:12 says He tossed your sin as far as the east is from the west. It’s never God who's shaming you. He's leading you towards your transformed, true self!

Try this instead: Apologize and make it right when needed. Then let it go. You’re a new creation. Grace leads you forward and frees you fully!

❤️‍🩹 And if you need help healing the deeper layers, our Revival Life Signature Course will walk you through it.

🔥 5. Hiding Your Strengths

You were never meant to blend in. You were meant to light things up. ⚡️

Whether it’s leading, speaking, creating, or encouraging… God didn’t give you gifts to be shelved or talents to stay buried.

As Jesus said: YOU are the light of the world! So no more shrinking back.

Try this instead: Take 10 minutes and ask, “God, what strengths have You put in me that I’ve buried?” Write down whatever comes up. 

👀 And if you’re not sure where to start—take our Spiritual Gifts Quiz and review your results to find out how you’ve been wired to love and lead.

​​Here’s the truth:

👉🏼 Insecurity is just placing your security in the wrong things.

👉🏾 Your soul craves a solid resting place. A peace where your confidence can rise.

👉🏿 🎶 “On Christ the solid rock I stand… all other ground is sinking sand.” 🎶

👉🏽 You were made to be unshakable in His love and unstoppable in His will!

👉🏻 Those five mistakes insecure people make are avoidable, in Jesus name!

For me? I finally know how God speaks to me—clear, steady, personal. And I see why the enemy went after my insecurities so hard: he was trying to shut down what I was born to do.

I was made to build platforms for others to stand taller.

To spotlight women and show them what’s possible.

To boldly take the mic and lift up Jesus so His truth can set women free. 🔥

So if you’re tired of...

• 🙅🏽‍♀️ Overthinking → 🔥 Replace it with Spirit-led trust.

• 🙅🏽‍♀️ People-pleasing → 🔥 Let God anchor you in His delight.

• 🙅🏽‍♀️ Comparison  → 🔥 Own your lane and run like it's revival.

• 🙅🏽‍♀️ Shame → 🔥 Let grace fuel you to walk in freedom.

• 🙅🏽‍♀️ Shrinking back → 🔥 Learn your gifts and let your light shine!

Because you don’t have to earn your worth. You just need to receive it from Jesus—who already called you chosen.

Let’s kick insecurity to the curb and walk like the confident, called, courageous woman you actually are. 💥

You in?

To your empowered life, 

Kandi

PS, if you are ready for greater confidence about who you are and what God's called you to, the Revival Life Signature Course was built for you. 💥

This is the exact process I’ve lived out for my own breakthroughs—and I’ve watched it unlock freedom, clarity, and calling in woman after woman.

It’s your turn. Let’s go. 🚀