🤦🏼‍♀️ Striving for What God Already Gave You: Why You’re Tired of “Being a Good Christian”

There’s a voice many of us know all too well.

It whispers things like:

💭 “You’ll have peace once you fix this.”

💭 “You’ll be secure once you prove that.”

💭 “You’ll belong once you become more.”

It sounds spiritual, responsible, and motivated.

But it quietly keeps us striving and wondering why we’re so exhausted.

That voice has a name: the religious spirit.

It often sounds like trying to be a good Christian.

And its main strategy is simple:

It invites you to strive for what God already gave you.

More approval. More closeness. More worth. More “enough.”

And that’s the lie: earn what was already yours.

💔 Where This Shows Up (And Why It Feels Like Anxiety)

This lie doesn’t stay theoretical. It shows up in real life:

• You overthink decisions because you’re not sure God is already with you

• You perform spiritually for Him instead of resting relationally with Him

• You say yes too quickly — then feel resentful and depleted

• You feel guilty resting, playing, or enjoying your life

• You replay conversations wondering if you were “enough”

• You feel anxious even when nothing is technically wrong

  
  

Not because you’re "disobedient". But because somewhere inside, you’re still trying to earn safety and belonging that were already yours.

This is why so many women tell me, “I love God… I’m just tired of trying to be a good Christian.”

Not tired of loving Jesus... but tired of the pressure, the overthinking, and the constant feeling that they’re missing something and disappointing God.

🙋🏼‍♀️ For Me

I’ve noticed the religious voice gets the loudest when I’m stretched too thin —trying to be a good mom, a faithful leader, a present friend, a grounded human.

Striving sneaks in disguised as devotion — but it's really just a rat wheel.

Or when I lean edgy, raw, or unpolished, wondering if not fitting perfectly in the boxes (ahem, Jesus in the eyes of the Pharisees 👀) might lead to rejection.

I forget that I’m already loved, and start acting like I have something to prove.

It’s wild how fast we can shift from “God, I trust You” to “let me just handle this real quick.” 😅

🌈 God’s Way Has Always Been Better

Joyce Meyer says it better than most of us ever could:

“The pressure to be perfect will steal your joy. You won’t have time to rest in God. For many years, I was so busy trying to serve God perfectly that I didn’t have time to enjoy Him. When this happens, Christianity becomes a labor.” — Joyce Meyer

Whew. That one lands because it’s true.

Striving doesn’t make us holy. It makes us tired. 😪

Here’s what often gets missed in all that striving:

God’s goal for you was never to suppress you, scare you, exhaust you, or bore you. His goal is that you would enjoy Him and enjoy being fully you.

Good fathers don’t erase their children’s personalities — they draw them out.

They create safety and direction, freedom and boundaries. They lead with grace that allows mistakes, truth that empowers, and love that steadies the nervous system instead of hijacking it.

That’s how God fathers us — His favorite masterpieces and beloved children.

He delights in who you’re becoming, not just what you produce.

Which is why striving feels so exhausting. You were never meant to earn what a good Father was always giving freely.

And it’s why God speaks truth first — before effort, before proving, before striving.

📖 This Isn’t New

This didn’t start with you.

From the very beginning, the enemy has used the same tactic:

👉🏼 “You don’t quite have it yet.” 👉🏼 “You need to do something more.” 👉🏼 “You need to prove yourself.”

Think about Adam: already made in God’s image, walking with God, and called good.

And yet the temptation was:

🍎 “If you eat this, you’ll be like God.”

He reached for what he already had.

The lie wasn’t “You could be like God someday.”

The lie was “You’re not already.”

And that lie still works — especially on women who care deeply, love well, and try hard to do things “right.”

💬 God Always Speaks Truth Before We Struggle

God never waited for performance before speaking.

His first words over creation were:

📖 “Very good.” — Genesis 1:31

Before effort... before failure... before fear... before comparison.

It's how I felt about my children when they were in my womb: already so proud. 🥹

And yet anxiety keeps poking the same wound:

👉🏼 “What if I’m not good enough... and I'm left alone?”

All our fears try to erase God’s declarations over us. But God answered with truth before fear ever showed up.

✝️ Why Jesus Didn’t Strive

Jesus knew this too.

Before He performed a single miracle, the Father said:

“This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Then came the wilderness.

Every temptation started the same way:

“If you really are the Son of God…”

And every response came from the same place:

📖 “It is written.”

Jesus didn’t prove who He was or negotiate truth. He rested in what the Father had already said.

Truth came before testing. And it still does.

🧠 When Anxiety Gets Loud

Anxiety often isn’t a sign you’re failing. It's a signal you’ve drifted from truth and started striving in the wrong direction.

Because we’re still trying to earn what was already given:

Peace. Belonging. Approval. Security.

And your body feels the pressure of that mismatch.

At the root of anxiety is this fear:

💭 “What if I’m not enough… and I’m left alone?”

But God answered that fear in advance:

Anxiety says: “You’re on your own.” 👉🏼 God said: “Never will I leave you.”

Shame says: “You’re not good enough.” 👉🏼 God’s said: “Very good.”

Striving says: “Earn your place.” 👉🏼 God said: “You belong before you behave.”

Before you spiraled. Before you questioned. Before you felt like too much or not enough.

Scripture actually names this problem:

“All who rely on observing the law are under a curse.” — Galatians 3:10

In other words: When your faith runs on performance, disappointment is guaranteed.

But Jesus rescued us from that weight. Hallelujah! 🎉

In fact, He even promised to handle them after we've still picked them up:

"Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.' " — Matthew 11:28

So when fear gets loud? The fastest way back to peace is returning to what God already said.

🎁 Identity Truths You Don’t Have to Earn

Here are truths to come home to today. Just notice which one feels hardest to believe:

🍎 You are the apple of His eye (Deut. 32:10; Zech. 2:8)

→ cherished and protected, not overlooked or expendable

👑 You are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)

→ empowered and secure, not fragile or barely surviving

🤍 You are fully known and fully loved (Psalm 139; Romans 8:38–39) → safe to be honest, not too much, too complicated, or disqualified

🏠 You belong before you behave (Ephesians 1:4–5; Galatians 4:7) → beloved and chosen, not disappointing, forgotten, or on probation

🛡️ You are kept and carried by God (Isaiah 46:3–4; Psalm 55:22)

→ supported and sustained, not alone or holding everything together

🌿 You are already “very good” in God’s eyes (Genesis 1:31) → worthy and whole, not behind, broken, or lacking

💎 You are God’s workmanship, not a project (Ephesians 2:10)

→ crafted with intention, not tolerated until fixed

🕊️ You are not alone—and never will be (Hebrews 13:5; Matthew 28:20)

→ anxiety’s deepest fear answered in advance

This is who you are on your worst day, not just on your best.

You’re not trying to become someone God loves. You’re learning to live like it’s already true!

🌿 The Shift That Changes Everything

➡️ The religious spirit says: Work toward what you don’t yet have.

➡️ God says: Live from what I’ve already given you.

Jesus’ first sermon (Mark 1:15) was essentially: God is closer than you think — so receive, and let it change how you think and live.

Which means you don’t have to hustle your way into peace, or prove your way into belonging, or climb your way to God's heart and plans for you.

You’re invited to notice what’s already here:

• Goodness and mercy already following you (Psalm 23).

• Perfect love already chasing out fear (1 John 4:18).

• God already singing over you with delight (Zephaniah 3:17).

Because when we start from love, something wild happens:

🍓 The good fruit we tried to manufacture grows naturally.

🥰 The peace and good works don't emerge from pressure, but from belonging.

I'm praying you'll be so aware of His presence, rest, and never-ending grace as your launching pad to soar in His plans for you — without skipping the joy. 🤩

With you in the remembering,

Kelsi